In My Best De Niro

yousucksir:

Senior Student:  “Sir, have you seen that movie Taxi Driver?”

Me:  “You talking to me?”

He looks behind him to see if there’s anyone else I could be talking to. 

Him:  “Um, yes.”

Me:  “Yeah, I’ve seen it.”

Young Jedi

yousucksir:

I am handing back assignments to my English 9 class.

Student:  (Surprised by his mark.)  “An A!”

Me:  “It was a masterful job, young Jedi.”

Him:  “I’m Corey.”

Me:  “What?”

Him:  “I’m Corey, not Jedi.”

Me:  “Sorry.  May the force be with you.”

Him:  (To another student, quietly.)  “What’s wrong with him?”

Saving Face

yousucksir:

In the middle of my English 9 class, as I’m at the board writing, I hear the sound of a camera shutter. I quickly turn and see one of my students with her iPhone out and she is blushing. Her friends are in hysterics that she was caught.

Me: “Okay. Show me.”

She is red in the face and madly…

Pride

yousucksir:

A colleague has generously given me a new pair of basketball shoes for one of my grade 9 students. She noticed in her class that his shoes had been falling apart for weeks and knows his family cannot afford new ones for him. She thought that he would be more receptive to taking them from me since…

Old Movies

yousucksir:

Me: “What did you do this weekend?”

Grade 9 Student: “Oh, I watched a bunch of old movies.”

Me: “Oh, I love old movies. What did you watch?”

Her: “My brother and I watched The Lord of the Rings.”

Me: “You…you’d never seen the movie?”

Her: “No. I wasn’t born when it came out.”

Me: “I’m…

Field Trip

yousucksir:

After class, one of my English 8 students stays behind to chat privately with me.

Her: “Sir, why can’t we go on the field trip? It’s not fair.”

Me: “Only half the class got their forms and deposits in on time. I’m truly sorry.”

Her: “Then can those of us who handed in forms go?”

Me: “I need…

noxi101:

The ultimate sign of respect to JK Rowling would be if Will and Kate’s next child was a boy and they named him Frederick.
Then we would have Fred and George as part of the royal family

(via marauders-lover)

lapfoxs:

this is literally everyone on tumblr

(via marauders-lover)

katnisstrinket:

GET TO KNOW ME MEMEFavourite Movies » School of Rock (2003)

↳ “Now, can I please have the attention of the class? Today’s assignment: kick some ass!

(via marauders-lover)

asmilinggoddess:

when remus first got bitten by a werewolf his parents rushed him to the hospital and they were like “what’s wrong?” “he was bitten by a werewolf” “oh god. what’s his name?” “remus lupin.” “sir are you fucking with me right now”

(via jilyevotter)

gothskater:

gracefullikeagazelle:

knives-and-pipes:

upgraders:

most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person 

image there’s a tool for that

I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?

For if you are ever so hungry you could eat a horse

(via marauders-lover)

night vale: *cheery accordion music*
night vale fandom: *sobs of fear*

mirror:

I still laugh whenever I remember that the reason there was a whole section in Goblet of Fire dedicated to Hermione explaining the correct pronunciation of her name to Viktor Krum was because JK Rowling had found out there were actually people out there calling her character “Hermy One”

(via marauders-lover)

mugglebornheadcanon:

690. Muggleborns who loved history in their previous schools, but were tired of the material, got unusually high marks in History of Magic. Purebloods can’t wrap their heads around the idea of enjoying such a dry subject.

(Source: bigtime-cherrypie, via mcpricekissed)